Improve Self Esteem In Adults

 

Improving self-esteem is an area that is a bit difficult to conquer for everyone – because everyone is, of course, different. Everyone has lived different lives and have experienced things differently. I will discuss what I have experienced and share with you how I have conquered what I have so far. Before I start, I will add that I will most likely be adding many more “parts” of this topic – as one article alone can not cover every angle of this topic. This article is to help improve self esteem in adults.

Attempt to figure out why…

Ask yourself if you have low self-esteem. Ask yourself if your self-esteem is lower today than it was last month. Is it lower what is my purpse why do i have low self esteemtoday than it was last year? Do you think back on the “good old days” – when you were younger, looked better, or had more money perhaps?

Ask yourself those questions – then ask yourself why you feel that way? Why do you look back on the days when you were younger? Do you think back to the days when you looked “better”? Why do you think back when you had more money because you had less responsibility?

These are questions that I have asked myself over and over again – and over time I started to answer them and started to become true to myself.

Here is what I have discovered over the years about myself – maybe you’ll find the same in yourself…

I finally started to answer my own questions…

It wasn’t until I started answering those questions, did my self-esteem start to rise. Was my self-esteem lower today than it was yesterday? No. What about last month? Maybe. Last year? Yes, definitely. After answering that, I asked myself another question… why?!? Did I look back on the “good ol’ days”? Yes I did. Mind you – I did not start asking myself these questions until I was in my late 20s. After a bit of thought, I asked myself, why? Where did my low self-esteem come from? Everything has a beginning – something, everything, starts somewhere… and that’s when It occurred to me…

My childhood.

 

Find where it originated…

child that is sad with low self esteem

I’m sure the cause of your self-esteem issues are different – and originated from something completely different. Maybe it originated after you had a child – or a relationship breakup. Or maybe, like myself, it originated at an age when you had no choice – when you didn’t know any better…

Here is what I found out about myself – and where it all started for me…

As a child until I was about 7 – I lived in a very broken home. After I was removed from there, my sister and myself were put in foster care. Most would think that it was the broken home environment that caused my self-esteem issues. That having people, family, seem to not care about you at all… that had to have caused it, right?!? Not at all. It was foster care – particularly the family that we were placed with.

I would say, after years of thinking about it, my self-esteem issues were compounded over time. For one, our location was very rural which meant I had very few friends – which also meant that I didn’t hangout with many people at all for a little over 10 years. I greatly lacked interaction with anyone outside of school, which I believe laid the pavement for never getting the acknowledgment of being accepted by anyone.

The major issue that actually cemented my low self-esteem was the way I was treated. Nothing was ever right, everything was wrong. Our chores were extreme which required my sister and I both to clean the house over the entire weekend, which meant not seeing friends and not having fun; but also not doing it right. The house was never clean enough, my grades were never good enough – they used to even tell us we weren’t good enough, our parents left us, who would want us?

We were told constantly that we would end up like our parents; which, needless to say, wasn’t the greatest. I remember I would go to school and dread going home – because I knew I would be told either I had done something wrong, wasn’t good enough, or was a piece of shit. I can’t tell you how many times I was called a dumb ass…. That kind of treatment lasted roughly 10 years. At the age, and in those years of someones lives, being told those things (even if they are completely wrong), turns them into reality. You will believe them…

For me, my low self esteem originated from events that occurred to me between the ages seven and seventeen. I’ll tell you how I’ve fought these demons, these negative thoughts that still talk to this day….

Know your worth – find your purpose…

I still hear those “voices” that would tell me I wasn’t worth anything. I still get the same feelings I used to back then in certain situations. It’s all about knowing the triggers and fighting against them.

Know your worth, know that you are worth more than what others think. Know that you are worth everything anyone else is. For me, fear played so much in my decision-making. The fear of doing something wrong; the fear of disappointing someone, the fear of someone leaving me… FEAR RULED MY LIFE. I like to think now though, that I’ve conquered it.

Finding my purpose, changed my life. When fear ran my life, I was doing everything everyone seemed to “want” me to do. I finished high school, went into the military, got out and finished college and ended up landing a great job working for the power company. I did everything I was supposed to – everything… but I was still so afraid….

My worth, my purpose is to help people through my story – through my experiences…. through all the bad decisions and hardships and ups and downs I’ve had. The second I realized that – everything from the past seemed to melt away. My self-esteem grew incredibly. Knowing that I had something to give this world, and knowing that I wasn’t a piece of shit or a dumb ass or everything that I did wasn’t wrong…. or if it was wrong it was OK… It’s OK to be wrong… My life started to change within days of my realization…

What does it all mean for you?

Man on clif conquering life improving self esteem

If you suffer from low self-esteem… because you look in the mirror and see something you don’t like… figure out why. Are you overweight? Why are you overweight? Is it a medical condition? Are you overeating? Is your issue caused by something deeper within yourself?! Do you not think you are worth anything?

ACTIVELY figure this out. Make it your mission. This can only be answered by YOU.

 

Once you figure that out, be willing to change. Make it your mission to change. Do the things you don’t want to, knowing you would benefit from them. Go to the gym! Stop worrying about what non-significant people think, NOW! Don’t like your job? Find a different one. Want to work from home? Take the steps to make it happen. You can accomplish anything you put your mind to. Be consistent. Read motivational and inspirational books! Using your time wisely will pay off in the end. You will accomplish so much and your self-esteem will rise along with it…. I promise you….

 

 

*** I hope this article has helped you in some way. I will be making a part 2-5 to this as well. I will also be posting my story in the coming months, either one post at a time, or all at once. Please leave your feedback and your own story(s) below. I would love to hear them.

All the best,

-Roland

 

 

 

 

 

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